I have serious depression and need help?

You clearly want to talk about what your brother did to you. You just need to find the right counselor and it would also be a good idea to talk to someone you trust about it as well. You don't want to kill yourself that is why you "failed" at it. You want to live. You want to be happy. Medication can help to a certain degree but you can't use that in replace of therapy because then you are only masking your problems, not dealing with them. It is a long road, but well worth it in the end. You need a good counselor (if you don't like this one change it) & you need a good ear to listen to you. What if there is someone out there you could possibly meet in the future that is in the place your are in now? If you kill yourself then you will never be able to help that person who would turn to you for advice. It's great that music is helping you! Writing stories, poems, songs & painting are also great outlets. So is writing a letter (you don't have to show anyone) to those who have hurt you & expressing how you feel. You can email me if you want to talk. Otherwise take care & find your happiness. You DO deserve it!