Is this Friendship over?

A friend of mine saved my life after a failed suicide attempt. If it was not for her I would have died (although that's what I wanted, really). As grateful as I am for this (in a way), I find her extremely annoying. Super annoying. I have been trying to hide it, but I can't anymore. She really cares about me. I care about her too, but talking to her and having her around me makes me irritable. I can only stand her company with other people present. Question: I owe her my life (blah -still want to die) and now I feel obligated to stay in a really tiring relationship. What do I do?